Act 1

Scene 7: It’s a bit different around here

astle chamber. There is a chessboard painted with black and white squares on the floor, about sixteen by sixteen meters. On one side as pawns – skeletons. On the other, peasants from nearby villages. Some other pieces can be seen. Trolls and smaller treemen as towers, chaos knights and imperial knights, chaos mages and priests of Sigmar as bishops. A demon and a daemonette as respectively, the black king and queen. The king and queen on the side of the “white” are nobles, who were unlucky today and ventured far beyond their lands. The “pieces” seem to be alive, although immobilized. Near the north wall there is a table with a miniature version of the same chessboard. Several bottles of strong alcohol and mugs are there as well. Wilhelm is sitting at the table playing black, and another demon sits in front of him. He is quite muscular, has horns and an irritating voice.]

[Ig] So tell me, Wilhelm, how is your life here in this castle?

[Wilhelm looks at the demon, takes a sip from his mug, sighs.]

[Wilhelm] Well, not that bad. Work’s work …

[Ig] Yeah, because I’ll tell you, Wilhelm, I heard some rumours recently.

[Wilhelm] [with a bit of concern] What rumours?

[Ig] Well, for example, such that apparently not only did you get bound by the one that summoned you, but also you did not even demand any souls for your services.

[Wilhelm scratches his neck nervously.]

[Wilhelm] Yeah, well, because you see … it’s, um, it’s not that simple …

[Ig] Come on, tell me Wilhelm, what’s not that simple? There’s a mortal, he sketches the pentagram, he chants the invocation, you get summoned and you say to this mortal: “Dear mortal, yes, all demonic wishes, dear, but first a little signature here confirming that I hereby obtain your worthless, invisible, probably not even there, soul and we are ready to do business.”

[Wilhelm] Well, yes, yes, but… because you see… it’s a bit different around here…

[Wilhelm moves his piece on the chessboard. Both demons turn towards the other part of the chamber where suddenly one peasant and one skeleton started to move. The skeleton immediately runs towards the confused peasant who’s holding a pitchfork and slashes him through the head with his sword. The peasant falls to the ground, dead, while the skeleton occupies his place and freezes.]

[Wilhelm] [with a sigh] I love losing.

[Ig] Well, let’s get back to the point.

[Wilhelm] The hell Ig, what do you want from me?!

[Ig] You know, Wilhelm, I don’t want anything. It doesn’t matter to me that a human bullies you around… but other demons … other demons look at it from a different angle. “He makes fools of all of us!”, they say, “It’s an outrage!”, they say and perhaps, they do have some point. Wilhelm, come now, he’s only a man…

[Wilhelm] [regaining his cool] Only man you say, Ig?

[Ig] That is so, only human …

[Wilhelm] Okay Ig, I have a deal for you … let’s make a bet.

[Ig] [suddenly very interested] What kind of a bet, Wilhelm?

[Wilhelm] I say that you cannot steal Constant Drachenfels’ soul or for that matter, hurt him in any other way.

[Ig] And the stake?

[Wilhelm] And the stake … If you win, you take all the souls from our little chess game.

[Ig] [with a slight disappointment in his voice] Well, I don’t know…

[Wilhelm] Okay Ig, tell you what… if you steal Drachenfels’ soul, you can take every soul in this damn castle.

[Ig] Every soul?

[Wilhelm] Every soul.

[Ig] What if you win? What do you want?

[Wilhelm] [with obvious amusement] I’ll settle with satisfaction… You won’t be here to pay any debts, anyway.

[Ig] Deal! Where is the enchanter?

[Wilhelm] In the living room. The room above us.

[The demons shake hands. Ig leaves. Wilhelm remains at the table, examining his claws for some time. At one point, he picks up the “opposite” king and his knight and sets them in front of each other, then with a bored gaze observes the chaos knight chasing the terrified nobleman on the large chessboard. When the knight is about to decapitate the unfortunate man, a terrifying scream is heard from the upper floor. It is so strong that all the pieces fall off a small chessboard, which ends with one big massacre on the other. Wilhelm stretches, adjusts cuffs, stands up, folds his hands, waits.]

[Constant Drachenfels] [from the upper floor] Wilhelm!

[Wilhelm] Yes, Lord?!

[Constant Drachenfels] Ready the fire in the stove… Make it big!

[Wilhelm] Yes, Lord!

[Whistling “Twisted Nerve” from the Kill Bill OST with a smile on his face, Wilhelm leaves the room.]

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