Act 3

Scene 3: Sigmar’s Room

corridor in the Eastern wing of the Castle. There is a door in the middle of the wall opposite the audience. The door is covered with a thousand different kinds of bruises and the edges are blackened. The walls around the door are scratched and cracked. Nevertheless, the door seems solid and firmly embedded in its hinges. From the left, Wilhelm and Zack enter the stage. They stop at the door and the demon turns to the audience.]

[Wilhelm] I owe you a word of explanation. The room in front of which we are currently standing is the so-called the room of “the god whose name I shall not pronounce.” A hapless priest once blessed this room, and his prayers turned out successful. Since then we have a room in the Castle, which is… let’s say detached from the rest of it. Even the power of Herr Drachenfels does not reach within its boundaries. For obvious reasons, the residents of the Castle are also not allowed there. In conclusion, it is quite a convenient place for tricky adventurers to spend a night in. [to himself] Over my steaming remains…

[Wilhelm stands in front of the door and listens for a moment. Then he knocks. Movement is heard inside.]

[Gottfried] [from behind the door] Who’s there?

[Wilhelm] [in a child’s voice] Scouts, we have cookies!

[Gottfried] Ha! Nice try!

[Zack] [appalled] Open up this instance, you call Mr. Wilhelm a liar?!

[The demon hits the zombie in the forehead with an open hand.]

[Wilhelm] [in a friendly voice] I just wanted to check if you needed anything?

[Gottfried] No thanks, we’re good.

[Wilhelm] [with concern in his voice] Isn’t it a bit crampy in there? There is a larger bedroom right over there. [encouragingly] There are even some gentlemen’s’ magazines over there.

[Gottfried] No, thanks, we’re fine.

[Wilhelm] Are you sure?

[Yorri] Beat it, you con-artist!

[Wilhelm] [to himself] Oh yeah? [loudly] Okay, come on, Zack, let’s not disturb our guests.

[The zombie starts to leave, when Wilhelm grabs him by the throat, gestures to be silent and walks on the spot, first loudly, then more and more quietly, until finally he stops.]

[Jack] [from behind the door] Do you think they’re gone?

[Lithaniel] Let me put it this way … there’s a rotten corpse stench outside …

[Wilhelm sniffs his cuffs, then looks at Zack and, with an annoyed look on his face, hits the unfortunate being on the forehead again.]

[Wilhelm] [to himself] Okay, time for more decisive methods.

[Wilhelm takes produces a green hat with a feather from his pocket and puts it on his head.]

[Wilhelm] [with an elven voice] Ha ha! It’s Drachenfels! Get him!

[The demon takes off his cap and takes a step to his left. Then, he puts on an iron mask.]

[Wilhelm] [imitating Drachenfels] You will perish, foul mortals!

[Wilhelm takes another step, crouches down, takes off his mask and produces a cleaver from his belt.]

[Wilhelm] [in a dwarven nasal voice] Oh, yeah? We’ll see about that!

[The demon cuts Zack’s finger off with the cleaver. The zombie looks at the writhing piece of his own body and escapes down the corridor in terror. Wilhelm calmly puts on his cap again.]

[Wilhelm] [again in an elven voice] Ha! He’s been wounded! Let’s get him around that corner, all that [with emphasis] gold and other riches will be ours!

[Wilhelm takes off the hat and follows Zack.]

[Wilhelm] [in Khazalid] Raaaagh! Gold! The axe craves blood!

[When the demon disappears around the corner, the door slams open. The dwarf runs out, axes high, with man dangling from his neck, who is unsuccessfully trying to stop him.]

[Yorri] [in a possessed voice] Gold! Follow me! [with emphasis] We will kill Drachenfels! That’s my gold out there!

[The dwarf sets off in pursuit. The human unwillingly follows. After a while Jack and Lithaniel also emerge from the room.]

[Jack] Now what? We go after them?

[Lithaniel] [with irritation] Do we have a choice?

[As they all disappear around the corner, from the left of the stage enters Wilhelm. The demon is whistling joyfully. Then he utters a magic formula. The stone floor of the corridor begins to tremble, and then with a loud crack of breaking stones a stony hand bursts out of it. Then the rest of a great stone golem emerges. Wilhelm positions the golem so that his back is against the door of the Sigmar’s room. He takes a step back. Looks at it from different angles. He positions the golem’s hand and nods in approval.]

[Wilhelm] Stay. Don’t let anyone in.

[The golem freezes.]

[Wilhelm] [to the audience] Best bouncer ever. Now our adventurers are in for a much more interesting night.

[The demon puts his hands in his pockets and leaves whistling cheerfully.]

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