Act 1

Scene 1: Once upon a time there was a Castle…

castle somewhere high in the mountains. Its battered, claw-like towers climb high into the sky. Its sinister, disturbing silhouette looks like a dark mark against a rather tranquil mountain landscape. There is a chasm near the castle. A small, barely frequented path leads to the main gate, one wing of which, clearly gnawed by the tooth of time, is slightly tilted. A gentle autumn wind blows, the sky is overcast. In the castle courtyard, right in front of the main building, a figure is bustling. The person is wearing an elegant major-domo suit from “the old days”. Slightly dusty high boots, a crimson sash slightly bitten by the tooth of time, hair tied up in a ponytail with a black ribbon … pointy ears, small sharp horns, claws and piercing demon eyes. He wields a broom and slowly flicks the dust from one place to another, looking very aggrieved. A donkey’s body decomposes nearby. After a while, the figure wipes some non-existent sweat from his forehead, straightens up and as if suddenly noticing the audience, turns to them with bored look on his face. He sighs and casually bows slightly.]

[Wilhelm] Hello there… Welcome to Castle Drachenfels! Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Irdu’Apeap’Aaree’Thlo Eeoz’Zammiidup Pdegzydh or Wilhelm for short. I will be your guide in this picturesque [sighs] lovely haven on this side of the Warp. Everything that stretches out in front of you in all its majesty: [points with his claw finger at the individually listed items, and his voice rises more and more as he goes on] a devasted stable with a phantom carriage, a well dried up for centuries, a spooky main building, suspicious-looking towers and a unique …dead donkey! They are all the property of His Excellency, Count Constant Drachenfels [In the background, the opening of “O Fortuna” by Carl Orff suddenly begins, then also suddenly goes silent], the Great Enchanter, lord of the surrounding estates for what now seems like eternity. Come now, admire and hear the joyful stories that are hidden in these equally joyful ancient walls!

[Suddenly a figure appears in a great window upstairs in the main building. A tall, dignified man with a haughty, peremptory look. He is dressed in the exquisite nobleman’s robes, on which he wears a cloak. He speaks towards Wilhelm with a loud, imperious voice. The servant immediately turns towards him and slouches a little.]

[Constant Drachenfels] Wilhelm! You lazy, demonic reptile! Put that broom aside and run prepare the dungeons.

[Wilhelm] Are we expecting guests? Adventurers perhaps? Should we prepare smaller shackles for a halfling?

[Constant Drachenfels] The ogres ate the halflings. Leave the shackles alone. Better take Fluffy out for a walk before they arrive. [adding after a moment] And lose those horns, you’ll scare the adventurers.

[Wilhelm] [outraged] “Lose those horns”, like how? They are not glued on, are they?

[Constant Drahchenfels] [coldly] Lose those horns or I’ll slap them right of your head.

[Wilhelm] [rolling his eyes ostentatiously, grabbing his head, making an effort] Well … I’ll try.

[The servant closes his eyes and is clearly straining. After a while, his horns slowly hide in the skull. This is accompanied by a delicate crunch.]

[Wilhelm] [painfully] Ouch! This will end up with a migraine.

[Constant Drachenfels walks away from the window.]

[Wilhelm] [adjusting himself, clearing his throat] Dear viewers will kindly excuse me. The Master orders, the servant obeys as they say. But please stay and watch, it has never been boring when adventurers came to the castle. [sighs slightly] “Take Fluffy out for a walk”, he says …

[Slowly, lazily, Wilhelm walks towards the wall of the castle, which appears to partially wave in a strange way. From inside the distortion in the wall an end of a chain, the link of which is the size of a human torso, protrudes. As he walks, the servant mutters to himself.]

[Wilhelm] In ordinary castles… in ordinary castles with ordinary lords, ordinary servants look after ordinary animals. The lord with whom my cousin serves keeps greyhounds. The countess from the state nearby is a cat lover. The count living not far from here likes falcons. But no, none of that for me. [He turns towards the audience and, with a slight sigh, shakes his head slightly] Well, tell me, who, by all the dark gods, keeps a greater demon as a pet?! [He picks up the end of the chain with an effort and starts to pull on its end] Okay, Fluffy… Walkie, walkie! Come out of the warp-way! Come on, now!

Share this:

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Notify of
2 comment(s)
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments