Act 2

Scene 7: Death

n old road in an exceptionally dark part of a forest. Huge dark trees, amidst the crowns of which Morrslieb’s sickly greenish moonlight appears. There are bushes around the road, here and there one can see  the yellow eyes of some night creatures. On the left side of the stage a black carriage driven by a headless coachman, wielding a scythe enters. On the right, enters a hooded figure holding the same agricultural equipment. The carriage stops. After a while its door opens “O Fortuna” starts playing in the background. Constant Drachenfels gets off.]

[Constant Drachenfels] [looking at the figure, with a sigh] You again? I thought we’ve settled this matter a few decades ago. [shaking his head] You really can’t take a hint, can you? [after a pause] So what do you intend to do now?

[The hooded figure points at the Enchanter with a bony finger.]

[Constant Drachenfels] Yeah, right. Did you fall on that bone head of yours? I have told you over and over. [with emphasis] You’re not taking me anywhere.

[Death] [suddenly throwing back the hood, showing the skull, nervously with a female voice] Damn it, Drachenfels! Don’t be such an egocentric bastard! I’ve already given you a break dozens of times, but I can’t wait anymore. It’s my job! Your time has passed multiple times over. You can’t be here for all eternity. It just looks wrong and the bosses are already tearing my head off because of this. You’ll get me fired!

[Constant Drachenfels] And who will do all the killing then? Don’t you all count on me. I’m an artist, not a laborer… No offense.

[Death] [irritated] Harry, Maria and Magdalena, I suppose.

[Constant Drachenfels] And they are…?

[Death] You know then… But by their nicknames. Famine, Pestilence and War.

[Constant Drachenfels] Ah. Well, yes. Look, I really can’t help you. I’m not going anywhere and that’s it.

[Death] [sitting down on the ground with resignation] They told me not to take this job. “You will eventually find one stubborn bastard, who just won’t die and then what?”, they said. Well exactly, now what? Maybe you can tell me, Mr. smarty pants? Or are you just gonna continue to make my life miserable? [after a pause] You offensive asshole!

[Constant Drachenfels] Hey! Why “offensive”?

[Death] Don’t you remember what you did to me the first time we’ve met?

[Constant Drachenfels] [looking a little guilty] Oh, right … Sorry about that. Back then I didn’t know you were a lady. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but a little makeup wouldn’t hurt.

[Death] And now insult me as well. [outraged] You have a heart of stone, you know?

[Constant Drachenfels] Heard it once or twice. Anyway, excuse me, I really can’t help you. I’m kinda in a hurry …

[Constants heads for the carriage. At this point Death begins to cry.]

[Constant Drachenfels] [confused] Hey, what are you doing? Don’t be silly …

[Death cries even more. Drachenfels walks up to her.]

[Constant Drachenfels] Come on, stop that. Death can’t cry.

[Death] Even Death has feelings!

[Constant Drachenfels] Look, let’s be reasonable, maybe we can work out something together.

[Death] [stops crying, slurping] So, you gonna let me cut your head off and lead you to endure eternal torment in the realm of the dead on its lowest, darkest level, where in the deepest, darkest hole there is a room with a thousand instruments of torture and your name on the nameplate on the door?

[Constant Drachenfels] [with the eyes of Garfield the cat] No …

[Death cries again.]

[Constant Drachenfels] Wait!

[Death] You selfish bastard!

[Constant Drachenfels] Okay, take it easy and tell me … The point is that I’ve been on this plane for too many years and it looks bad, right?

[Death] [through tears] Yes.

[Constant Drachenfels] Okay, what about the elves then?

[Death] What about them?

[Constant Drachenfels] Well, after all, they run around the world even for several thousand years, and they die as they see fit. Doesn’t that look bad?

[Death] Well … yeah, it does.

[Constant Drachenfels] Exactly. And you don’t really care for the order in which people die, do you?

[Death] Well, not really, no.

[Constant Drachenfels] Right? So let’s do it this way. You will take me with you…

[Death] [not crying anymore] Yeah?

[Constant Drachenfels] … but only after you have first taken all the elves.

[Death] Hmm, that does make a lot of sense. But this is associated with many technical difficulties … I don’t know.

[Constant Drachenfels] Look, tell you what. I’m on my way to the Athel Loren forest right now. I’ll give you a ride, huh?

[Death] Well, yeah… But how can I go dressed like this?

[Constant Drachenfels] What, suddenly you care?

[Death] You know these elves are quite sensitive to appearance. I’ll score one and the rest will run away.

[Constant Drachenfels] Okay, I have an idea … Stand up straight.


[The Great Enchanter holds up his hands. Lightning appears in the sky. One of the lightning bolts hits Death. Suddenly, her physiognomy begins to change. Her body takes the form of an unimaginably beautiful elf with jet-black hair, her clothes turn into beautiful blood-red robes, and her scythe turns into a silver dagger.]

[Death] [looking at the reflection of herself in the dagger] Not bad Constant, not bad …

[Constant Drachenfels] I told you that I am an artist … [offering Death his hand] Shall we?

[Death] [with joy and a velvety tone in her voice] We shall.

[They both get into the carriage. The carriage departs in Morrslieb’s dim light.]

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