astle dungeons, entrance to the torture chambers. Old stone walls, low vaulted ceilings. All scorched from torches burning thousands of years. Darkness and sinister silence are overwhelming. Facing the audience, a huge iron door built into an old brick wall. Suddenly, Wilhelm drops through the ceiling and lands on his bottom.]
[Wilhelm] [struggling to get up] Damn. If only I would remember how to get here without using the warpways. This last drop is insane. [looking around] Right … not many changes around here, I see. Figures.
[The demon walks to the door and knocks cautiously.]
[Wilhelm] [hesitating a bit] Hello? Anyone there?
[There is silence.]
[Wilhelm] [with a sigh] Okay, this is not the correct approach.
[Wilhelm puts his hands out in front of him, mutters a magic incantation, black flames appear on his hands. The flames soon turn into a magic projectile that hits the door with great force. The door is slightly smoking but otherwise remains intact.]
[Wilhelm] [rolling his eyes] Come on! They overkill it with the quality of their products.
[Suddenly, there is a sound of turning mechanisms and a screeching of metal. The door handle drops down with a crunch. The door opens. At first, a cloud of black and yellow sulfur dust emerges from the half-open door. Then, when the door opens a little more, an ominous flame bursts towards Wilhelm. Finally, when the door is opened fully, a silhouette engulfed in smoke emerges. A dwarf stands at the threshold. His head is adorned with many tiny horns. A large copper skull-shaped buckle is pinned to his beard. His red robes are partially covered with decorated armor of great quality. There is a huge pistol behind his belt.]
[Zahrruk] [scowling at Wilhelm] Oh, it’s you. Did you knock?
[The demonic servant straightens his cuffs.]
[Wilhelm] Indeed. [looking around the dungeon] I see that you have settled here nicely. Yup, and trust me, I agree, cleaning IS overrated.
[There is silence.]
[Wilhelm] Yes … Well, to the point … I don’t know if you’ve heard, but we have a kind of a problem with a siege.
[Silence.]
[Wilhelm] And, well … You know … All hands on deck and stuff.
[Silence.]
[Wilhelm] It’s in our all best interest and all …
[Silence.]
[Wilhelm] And Herr Drachenfels also ordered …
[Zahrruk] [surprised] Drachenfels needs help with a siege? What the hell is besieging us, then?!
[Wilhelm] [slightly embarrassed] Well no, you see … Drachenfels is not in the Castle at present and …
[Zahrruk] Oh.
[The dwarf starts closing the door.]
[Wilhelm] [blocking the door with his foot] Hey! Wait! What are you doing?! This is your problem as well! Eventually, the attackers will reach these dungeons, and then …
[Zahrruk is about to answer when another dwarf holding a simple, iron, horned crown in his hand emerges from the depths of the dungeons. He is dressed like Zahrruk.]
[Krodyg] [to Zahrruk] Hey, look what they found during a raid. They took it off along with the head of some orc.
[Zahrruk] What is it?
[Krodyg] Elder says some Crown of Nagash or something. [noticing Wilhelm] What’s he doing here? [to Wilhelm] You lost? There a toilet to unclog or what?
[Wilhelm] [rolling his eyes] You’re a clog, you fool. I’m trying to save your life and …
[Krodyg] [waving his hand] Okay, shut up. [handing the crown to Zahrruk] Check it out, it talks.
[Zahrruk lifts the crown to his ear and then starts giggling.]
[Zahrruk] [mocking the crown] “My will be done”, “Bring forth the darkness” haha, what an idiot.
[Krodyg] Yeah, like some kind of motivational bard or something. [walking back into the depths of the dungeon] Okay, fun’s over, got slaver work to do. Get rid of that demonic moron, sulfur is escaping through that open door.
[Zahrruk] [harshly to Wilhelm] Did you hear that? Scram!
[Wilhelm] [hysterically] But they’re attacking us!
[Zahrruk] There he goes again, on and on like that crown. [putting the crown to his ear, speaking to it] Wait. What’s that? What ya sayin’? Oh, ok, I’ll tell him. [to Wilhelm] Hey Wilhelm … it’s Nagash. He says you need to sod off.
[Wilhelm] [irritated, through his teeth] Right, you ugly bearded kettle, but tell me… What exactly are you and your companions going to do, when the entire imperial army including priests, mages and whatnot comes a-knocking?
[The dwarf reaches for his pistol and presents it to Wilhelm. The demonic servant looks at him for a moment and then bursts out laughing.]
[Wilhelm] What? What are you going to do with this little pistol of yours?! Hahaha! You wouldn’t shoot a pigeon with it!
[Without a single word the dwarf points his gun at Wilhelm and then fires. There is a terrifying explosion coming from the barrel of the gun, accompanied by a demonic roar, shaking the foundations of the castle. Wilhelm flies away and hits the wall with force and slides down, smoking.]
[Wilhelm] Ouch …
[Zahrruk slams the door shut.]
[Wilhelm] [to himself] Ok, won’t achieve anything here. I need to come up with something else.